Inspiration… where does yours come from? I am inspired by my children each and every
day...(and Ray,my husband, but that's for another post) They are all so different and I see
each of them growing and changing each and every day. They were all very fine 2 years ago, with our
new “adventure” to Williston North Dakota and now that the novelty has worn off
they are finally back to normal. I think
we were all on eggshells for some time… I know, that sounds crazy! But I think we were all afraid to say that we
were scared of the change and so desperately wanted to make it into that
adventure we spoke of. I think that I
was worried about the fragility of my kids and the guilt won me over more times
than I care to admit! I felt terrible making
my children move and have all of these changes forced on them. There is strength in numbers and if the name
Senior is in any way associated with that number you have Super Strength! Yes, I know there are military families that
move often and yes, people move all the time. But I did not sign up for that!
As a matter of fact Ray and I did not date while he was in the Navy for
precisely that reason! This move and all
of these changes are shaping our lives and making us better people, I am
inspired everyday by my children, they are resilient and incredible little
people…
Logan, he is the epitome of first child syndrome, he is an
over achiever, it helps that he is the first to do everything so it becomes a
big deal. How could it not. Now that he
is a Junior in High School I am struggling with how to build him up and get him
ready to face the world without setting him up to fail because in our eyes he
has gotten so many accolades. They are
not misplaced, he works hard, he learned that from his Dad (he would never
admit that)he knows that hard work pays off in the end. Logan…Clever, diligent and obstinate. He will go far, we will always be proud and
will always worry, he will be the first to be on his own and we will send him
off with love and pride, knowing he will succeed. My worst fear is that in this big world he is
going out into will eat him up and spit him out a couple of times before he gets
it...with his tenacity he will be able to dust himself off and try again!
Dillon, 2nd child but also (one of the) middle
child, He and Logan are only 15 months apart so the milestones for Dillon come
right after Logan. He doesn’t know it
any differently I tend to say to myself (to make myself feel better) but he is
the one I think suffers because of it.
He is such a beautiful child! He
has the biggest heart and always the people pleaser. Ask… for help or anything… and he is there,
loyal and loving. Everything that
happens in Dillon’s world affects him deeply. He tries so hard in school but good grades don’t
come easy for him. Whatever the grade we
are proud. But what I am most proud of
is his inner light. He cares deeply and
in turn everything hurts just a deep. He
is always inside himself and Never Ever wants to be a burden. He is anything but, Dillon is a joy and his
sweet and carefree interior is what makes him one of the most genuine people
you will ever meet. This move has taught
him that he really can do anything, just put his mind to it… it will
happen. He is not in his brother’s
shadow… He is the light that makes the shadow, and his heart is what creates
the blinding brightness that Dillon glows!
Mirada, 3rd child, first daughter and also middle
child. Wow that right there says so
much. I remember when I found out she
was a girl! I was so excited to buy pink girly things… Oh that bedroom looked
like Pink threw up in it! Now she wants
to throw up of the thought of the color pink!
Ironic right? Oh to be a girl and
13… She doesn’t want to fit in, but she does… I remember it but I had no idea
what it would look like from a Moms perspective. She loves to laugh and make others laugh too,
she gets that from her Dad, but would never EVER admit it. I am not sure I have ever met anyone her age
that was so funny. Her quick wit and sensitivity
makes her one of a kind. Because of her
humor, she is less in the background, she is beautiful and that puts her right
in the forefront sometimes…she would rather not be anywhere near the front, at
this time in her life, I hope that one day she embraces her beauty wears it
proudly…She loves everyone and is learning that she deserves respect as
well, I hope that she will always demand
that! She could easily be the classic
middle child…but I have spent many hours of my life showing my daughters that
you have to be strong. Sometimes this
gets Mirada in a little trouble because she will stand up for what she believes
in. Until the end! It is so frustrating, but quietly I beam with
pride because I see the inner strength and fortitude she has. This generation has it harder than we did and
I watch her struggle with it all. If you
are able to break thru the hard outer crust she has built around her, you are
in for one of the most wonderful treats of belly laughs and acts of kindness
that will ever be bestowed upon you! This is going to be the hardest time of
your life, my sweet girl, keep doing what you are and “You be you” that’s all we can ask for!
Sydney, baby Sissy, the fourth, the last, the Baby. Wow, she can’t stand being called the baby
but wants to curl up in a ball sit on my lap still. She wants to be a big girl but give her the
chance and she will pull the baby card as often as she can. She is so headstrong. She never gives up (I have no idea where she
gets that from) from the day she was born she has been trying to wear me down
and one day she just might win. She is
the classic redhead, green/hazel eyes and freckles, with one glance you know
she is into mischief. She has many
nicknames and Hurricane Sydney is one of them.
I have no idea how one little, tiny skinny girl can make such a
mess! She is a Hot mess! She loves her brothers and sister so much and
strives to be just like them! But in the
next few years I know she is going to give us a run for our money! She is just starting to realize who Sydney is
and she is a pretty great person. She
loves to help, wants to try just about anything and loves being the center of
attention. That’s not easy being the
last of 4 kids all born in 5 years! She
has always had an angelic beauty but once you see past that you know there is a
little demon in there somewhere. (Yes, I said demon!) Sydney has a persona that is all her own, I know she
is going to be ok in the long run because of her strength and determination,
anyone lucky enough to be part of Sydney's inner circle is a blessed & lucky person. Stay the baby for a little while longer my
child, being one of the big kids isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
(Me, Dana Baby Brother, Debi and Donna Big Sisters)
When I was younger I assume that inspiration came from my
parents. They inspired me in many ways
to be the woman I am today.
The one thing I was taught and I hope my children to carry on is: Treat everyone equally, This has been my mantra before I even knew what a mantra was... It doesn't matter what you do for a living, what color your skin is or who you decide to date or marry... treat everyone the same, your life will be more rewarding if you are genuine and not only care for others, but show them.
Today, I am inspired
by my beautiful family. Of course there
are good days and bad, but if we didn’t have those bad days, we wouldn’t be the
people we are now. I find that on the
bad days I tend to look inward or backward.
I glance inward and ask myself who holds me up when I am down. I
do. I glance backward and ask who held
me up when I was struggling. I did. But not without the love and support of my
family. While I was growing up my Dad
worked hard, he was rarely home at night and if he was he was dozing in the
recliner with the news on the TV. My mom
was always carting us around, making sure we were safe or making dinner or
folding laundry, you know doing all that Mom stuff...I remember how strong she was, WOW she went through many things and always with such dignity, I don't think I would ever be as strong as she was after losing 2 Adult children. No one should ever have to go thru that, she fought cancer with a vengeance, twice...Once for my Dad and once for herself. The Strength she had was indescribable, if I am only half the woman she was, I will be happy! When we were growing up she kept my Dad up to
date on what was going on and he was always quick to offer a hug or a victory
dance in the living room. (Usually to
the sounds he was making with his mouth, he had no idea he was beat boxing at
the time, the term didn’t even exist)
I
know that each of us kids were their inspiration. I don’t remember them going out with friends
or having many date nights. What I do remember
is: my Dad always making sure that once a year they went on a phenomenal
vacation somewhere across the globe. They took that time to celebrate their achievements that year! When
we got older they would be gone for 2 weeks and we would hold some of the most
epic parties that Palm Springs High School had ever seen. Thank goodness YouTube didn’t exist or I would
have been in HUGE trouble! Nonetheless,
I know we were their focus, their world, their inspiration. I know I was loved, so very much and I have
my brother and sisters to remind me of that. I am convinced that my children will be better
people because of our move to Williston, North Dakota…I know I am!
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